Depression, Counselling and the Irish Male.

When I was writing my thesis for my final year in college, I settled upon the subject of depression and how it effects the Irish male. Its statistical relevance was, unfortunately, there for all to see. I have always considered counselling as a way of exploring the ‘self’, seeing what has made us the way we are and in time facing up to this way of being in order to move forward. Was it possible, I wondered, to explore the label of depression and how it relates to the self?

My starting point was a definition. What is depression? Could a one-size-fits-all definition be workable? A lot of what I read at the time kept throwing up words like withdrawal and isolation. Some sufferers reported a shared experience of being unable to manage life or to reach out for assistance. Some found relief in definition – knowing what they were dealing with in clear terms. Others found it unhelpful to define and by extension diagnose – the diagnosis made it feel immovable and beyond their control. What I took from these points were the individual nature of this condition even in trying to nail down what it meant for different people. In short it meant something different and more nuanced for each individual and yet had shared themes.

A lot of my research on the Irish male and depression showed related issues like anger management, alcohol and substance abuse, emotional aloofness and suicidal ideation. It led me to question what is causing this? Is there a common dissatisfaction in the environment of the young men of this country?

One of the first things that caught my eye was the awareness of disingenuous relating amongst men. The idea of not being fully confident or able to reveal ourselves to another person. What can be keeping us from genuinely meeting each other? Is there a fear of derision ingrained in society if we are to offer our feelings and intuitions as a means of connection? Different Irish male perspectives sharing their own experience of depression often report a need to wear a hardened exterior – something they attribute to manliness. This may then lead to feeling cut off or separate from their peers and support. Asking for help is often, with this mindset, stigmatised and seen as weak. This form of masculinity, whilst thankfully being challenged in various forms, can be seen as still very dominant.

Through counselling and psychotherapy, these issues can be explored and an open, safe connection can be created. This safety can be lacking amongst our peers, this need for help can be dismissed. In counselling the self that we need to be can be nurtured, the changes we want to make can begin to take shape.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I am contactable through the site, phone and email. I am situated in Caragh village, which is a short drive from Naas (7 min.s) and Newbridge (11 min.s) and I also offer online counselling therapy.